Recently a friend told me about a podcast that she had enjoyed. One of the topics was gratitude versus reverence, with reverence obviously having more depth. I completely agree with the notion, but I think I would use the word “gratitude” more simultaneously with “reverence” and perhaps speak more of thankfulness versus gratitude in the same manner.

A couple months ago I heard this quote, “Gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder! (G.K. Chesterton)”

As soon as I heard it I loved it. It is the “wonder” aspect that brings the reverence. I was about 21 years old when I began to love the hymn, “How Great Thou Art” and especially the phrase… “when I in awesome wonder.” At this age I was maturing in my love of nature as well as my appreciation for the Creator.

“In awesome wonder” seemed to encapsulate all of my feelings – but now happiness doubled by wonder seems an even better expression of what I experience.

I experience this most profoundly when I am in nature – any kind of nature…. flowers, waterfalls, night sky, rocks, desert, wind, ocean. There is most certainly a gratitude, a reverence and a wonder at this incredible world and the loving Father who created it for us. I believe the earth is a sacred place.

I also experience a gratitude, reverence and wonder when I consider both family and friend relationships. This has certainly come with maturity and all the of inherent interpersonal experiences that occur through the years. People need people (particularly kind people). I think of the song from Wicked, “because I knew you, I have been changed for good.” A true friendship is a sacred relationship.

Throughout my morning, as I have fasted, I in awesome wonder that I have loved ones scattered throughout the states who care enough to join with us in a unity of faith and prayers on behalf of Mark and our family. I have felt a sense of community and power. How can I begin to express my gratitude? For several days I have prayed that each person who joins in our fast will have a good experience and that blessing will flow into their lives. My happiness is doubled by wonder. Today has been sacred for me.

Mark had a very rough night with the return of air hunger but woke up this morning in better shape. He is communicating very well and has clear thought processes. Here is our first tender mercy – he wanted to eat breakfast! We have had the same physical therapist for two days in a row and she cannot believe the difference in his abilities.

The question of the day has been this – do we begin chemotherapy today or tomorrow? This is a Sunday and there is not a lot of support staff here. Another day without fighting? Both options have pros and cons. I have felt inclined to give him a day of rest and recovery from the past week. The last big news is that we were able to transfer out of ICU yesterday evening. Yay – though I do miss those nurses and our extra-large room.

I want to tell the story of our cover photo – last week when I was teaching Sunday school I mentioned how I had some particular verses of scripture that are special to me. The reason that they are special is because on one of our early dates Mark and I were sitting at Shell Beach, watching the sun set over the ocean, and he was telling me how he liked these verses. That was June of 1987 – and each time I encounter them I think of that night (I went home and read them right away). These beautiful flowers were made for me by my team-teacher!! The words on the petals are those scriptures! Such thoughtfulness!! I in awesome wonder!!

By the way- we chose to try to begin chemo tomorrow. His blood counts are quite low and a day of rest seems to be in order. It also opens the opportunity for our oncologist to speak with the radiation team in case that is a possibility- either a quick zap to the lungs or a targeted zap to those pesky brain tumors.