Our community flags are flying at half mast this week and the streets of our neighborhood are lined with dozens of American flags. These all stir my heart as we honor the officer who was slain on duty a week ago. I am a friend of the extended family of another man who died in a tragic accident about one month ago. His story is heart-wrenching.

My first thoughts are always for their wives and children. They had no time to prepare! I have always dreaded that phone call or knock on my door that delivers devastating news like this. On the other hand a couple months ago I had a heart-to-heart talk with a woman I don’t know and would not recognize if I saw her again… but it was a good talk. She had lost her husband a couple years before this. He had been very ill for four or five years. She told me that he was so changed, she had “said goodbye” to him several years before he finally died… but she said even with all of that time she was not prepared for the difficulty of losing him.

Remember that kind surgeon who sat and talked with me for thirty minutes? He told me that we needed to prepare. I was sitting there feeling like a very heavy cloak had been placed on my shoulders and was a little hazy-brained wondering how to “prepare?” He clarified his thoughts a bit using words like, “mend fences,” or “repair bridges.”

Oh Wow! I hadn’t even thought of that. Together Mark and I talked and felt that our relationships with others were in pretty good order. We had met with a lawyer and created a living trust. Our children and grandchildren knew we love them. What else to do? How else to prepare? Other people had shared some suggestions…

Many friends said that they would quit their jobs and enjoy themselves… Well – Mark takes his role as provider seriously. He has always worked hard to take care of our family and he just kept right on going, especially knowing we might be left without him. He also has several employees and a co-founder to consider. There is no job quitting around here.

Someone else suggested that they would go on a dream vacation… Well – Mark was in so much pain he could really only sit in the recliner. It was too late for a dream vacation. Fortunately we have gone on many wonderful vacations as well as local adventures. We would love to continue to travel, but we are satisfied that we have seen and done more than we ever imagined we could. Our memories together have been wonderful.

I am drawing a blank on any other ideas that we heard…

So – my thought today and my reminder to self is to live a full life. Not a self-centered, indulgent life – but a life full of love and people and service and intelligence and common sense and good memories. Smile. Forgive. Make good choices. Laugh. Be a friend. Talk to people. Build relationships. Feel gratitude. Mend fences. Acknowledge the goodness of God. Eat good food. Enjoy nature. Strengthen my relationship with my Savior. Celebrate more often. Choose truth. Read the best books. Share.

Life can change in a moment! How to prepare??? We are blessed to have today to change so that we can live without regrets.

Our updates today are all positive. Mark’s vision has continued to improve and yesterday he read a single-spaced, typewritten document. His appetite is flourishing. He rests most of the time, but otherwise is doing great. He did complete his steroid treatment yesterday so these good times may or may not be short-lived. Either way we are enjoying it! He has been taking his new drug for about one week without any noticeable side effects. The plan is to try this drug for one month and then be scanned to see if we can continue or if we need to move on to those infusions…

Later… Two new updates – on the chemo side we are now dealing with sores on the feet. On the preparing ourselves scene… a friend just sat with Mark and said he had been contemplating Mark’s situation and asking himself, “What would I change if I were told I had two weeks to live…?”

I won’t report on the rest of the conversation, but I thought it was interesting to hear while I had been typing this post. What would I change???