Faithful friends that are near to us, will be dear to us – and yes! My faithful friends have shown their concern for my well being this Christmas. Rightly so! Last year I was so busy with a new grand baby, a wedding and an impending cross-country move (not for me – but I was privileged to fly out and help with the house hunt). We spent the holidays in New Mexico so we didn’t have to be home. No tree and no decorating. It was tearful and surreal. This year is real. New Year’s Eve will be my 18 month anniversary of widowhood. My emotions have been all over the place – but mostly very good.

How can they be described as good? Well, I believe that the word “good” is derived from “God” and I can say with certainty that I have never experienced a more God-centered Christmas. I am enjoying the lights and the gifts and the singing and the baking… but in my heart I am focused on celebrating the birth of the Christ child. My Savior and Redeemer. It feels good and right.

Here is a specific example of a struggle that happened today. Our congregation has been coming to church 20 minutes early for the past three weeks and singing Christmas carols before services begin. I love it. Mark would have loved it so much! I miss his strong voice every Sunday. Today I was thinking of how much I missed singing with him but trying to stop thinking of it. Then we sang these lines from O Come All Ye Faithful: Sing choirs of angels, sing in exultation… Sing all ye citizens of Heaven above.

Sometimes time takes longer than it really is. You know how it is when everything seems like slow motion? My voice was singing but my mind was racing. Sing choirs of angels…. I know that Mark is happier than ever singing praises to the God he loves. In person no less… He is in those choirs. …I am now feeling my throat constrict…. Sing all ye citizens of Heaven above! What!? I have never really heard those words before – but now Mark is a citizen of Heaven above. At this point my throat is so tight it hurts and I desperately do not want to start ugly-crying in the middle of all this exultation!

Saving it for later my mind was racing to survive the song. Mark is singing praises to God in Heaven. I am singing praises to God on earth. We are still worshipping together. We are on the same team. Oh come let us adore Him. We both love Jesus; we both adore Jesus. Perhaps were are not as far apart as it seems. And just like that I was singing again.

It isn’t always that speedy – but I really didn’t want to miss any more of the singing.

I wrap gifts as they arrive and so I’ve been wrapping up all month. Right now I want to wrap up a few thoughts on those last three posts in which friends shared their solutions for “coming to adore” Jesus and feel close to Him. This morning I had a few thoughts cross my mind – I am not going to think too hard about this… just type out what comes to mind.

When you are in a close relationship with someone you tend to take on their characteristics. This is obvious to others when someone is in an unhealthy relationship, and hopefully the opposite is also true. To have a relationship with Jesus we should learn about Him and obey His bidding to “Come, Follow Me!” I want to summarize the primary responses (as I remember them) that my friends have shown as a few ways to do this:

1. Service… I loved how many people said that when they need to feel close to God they serve others. Christ’s entire mission was to serve, both in life and in death. His entire purpose was to serve us and those we love and those we don’t love. All of humankind should be on their knees in humble gratitude and then following His example to care for one another and help each other along. I am afraid we are far from this. A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. John 13:34
2. Nature… This resonated with me for sure! Every mention of the stars, of walking, of sunsets, of being away from the noise… First of all God created all of these things so we can certainly feel His hand in nature. We also know that sometimes even He had to go to a quiet place apart. There is power in nature. And he said unto them, Come ye yourselves apart into a desert place, and rest a while. Mark 6:31
3. Prayer… It seems too obvious. I like the advice to pray when you don’t feel like praying. Jesus showed us the way as He prayed to His Father. For me prayer comes in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes it is just amazing and sometimes it seems to fall flat, but I keep on praying. If you don’t every pray you won’t ever have the amazing moments. They are rare but worth the effort. But the end of all things is at hand: be ye therefore sober, and watch unto prayer. 1 Peter 4:7
4. Gratitude… If you are a regular reader of my blog you will have to know that I wholeheartedly agree! I have discovered the power of gratitude. Gratitude is my secret to survival. Seriously. My nighttime routine is to pray and then read a book for a few minutes. Then, as I turn off the light and rest my head on my pillow another prayer of gratitude escapes my lips. Every night – I cannot help it, it just comes out of me. Jesus gave praise and glory to His Father and we are also to be grateful in all circumstances. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18
5. Sacred Music…. I turn to sacred music more and more often. This Christmas season I have yearned for sacred music more than those beloved Christmas carols. They are wonderful, of course, but I feel myself worshipping the pre-mortal, mortal, and post-mortal Christ. I haven’t wanted more than a few minutes of Christmas music (pop) and must turn to the carols (to me the religious songs are the carols) and then to all sacred music. I know many people like to be in choirs – not me, thank you, – but I do love to listen. – O come, let us sing unto the LORD: let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation. Psalms 95:1

An act of kindness, time outdoors, a simple prayer, expressions of gratitude and uplifting music; increasing just one of these in your life should improve your Christmas season. And then, amid the fun and festivities, you can be even more aware that the joy, the laughter, the food, the gifts, the lights… all of it is our way (here on earth) of celebrating the birth, life, death and love of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Reverence is beautiful, but I also believe that He loves to see us laughing and loving one another! Make a joyful noise! Celebrate!! Merry Christmas!!

Postscript – This morning I woke up and thought I should add something. Everything that I have said is true. I also don’t hesitate to say that during the past few weeks I have also had a pretty good cry-fest, felt frustration and loneliness and haven’t been too pleased with my sweetheart for leaving me. I accept all of this as part of my grief. I have learned that it is how I choose to handle these feelings that makes a difference, and the choice really is mine. Deep sorrow is a part of my life now. God can be in sorrow. It is alright. When it becomes disruptive, I make more of an effort – following these same principles shared by so many of you. Thank you for sharing, you have truly blessed my holiday season!