The black construction paper ears should tell the whole story – we were totally destitute and we had fun just being together. I love this photo because it tells me what I already know – Mark was a good sport. We were both youth leaders and were expected to dress up for a Halloween party. With pennies in our pocket we found a little polka dot child’s dress that I transformed into a skirt, a bow and a bow-tie. Mark is sporting little red shorts and I am not sure what they used to be – but the big black buttons are construction paper. Standing in the concrete “front porch” of our basement apartment, we had been married for almost three whole months. Life was good!

Aside from friendship and young love we had a few other things going for us in those early years. Both of us planned to have a happy marriage and both of us wanted to do our part to see that this outcome was realized. Mark has witnessed two of his siblings be married and picked up on the usual little squabbles that may occur as couples adjust to married life. He had vowed that he would not make those squabbles a part of his marriage and fortunately for us he did a great job at keeping to his vow.

For my part I heard two tales during those early months which had a profound effect on me. It is very likely that neither of them are true. Nevertheless they showed me the path I wanted to take in my new married life. I will share tale number one and save the second tale for next time.

It seems as though there was a woman who was deeply unhappy in her marriage. She stood it as long as she could before finally visiting a divorce lawyer and telling him of her woes. He listened carefully and then asked his new client if she would like to make her husband as miserable as he could be. Really sock it to him!

Enthusiastically she said she would do whatever she could to make that husband miserable. The lawyer explained that it would take a year. During that year she needed to do everything that she could think of to make her husband happy and comfortable.

She was confused! How could making him happy and comfortable result in his absolute misery? The lawyer explained that when the year was over and she left him, he would be more miserable than if she were to leave now when they were fighting.

The woman agreed to the plan and went right to work keeping that husband happy. Obviously at the end of the year she had no intention of leaving her husband. Doing everything that she could think of to bring happiness to her husband had resulted in bringing happiness to herself as well.

And they lived happily ever after – the end.

Alright, it might sound cheesy but it worked for me (much of the time). At age 22 I hadn’t really lived long enough to concentrate on the happiness of others. I have always felt that it was perfect timing for me to hear this tale and I took it to heart. Focusing on the happiness of the other took effort and practice but we both got better at it with time.

All of you married couples – do what it takes to be happy and enjoy one another! It is worth the effort!

Oh how I wish that I had more time to practice!!