Are you blessed to have a Valentine in your life? I hope so – and I hope that you are doing all that you can do to help your Valentine have a happy life. If you are going to be a couple – be a good one!

Remember that I said Mark was beginning to write a book on how to be a good husband? I’ve got a lot of material… and one of the best things we did is only ten years old and not as well utilized as it should have been – but it is a TREASURE!!

I mentioned a couple months ago that we kept a shared journal in which we wrote love notes. It is only ten years old and not even half full because there would often be several months or even a year between entries and that was just fine. After one of us composed a love note we would tuck it into our sweetheart’s dresser – wow! How I loved opening my drawer and finding the journal with a new message!

Never would I ever have shared any contents of this journal but with Mark gone and knowing he wanted to help other couples I feel like there are many, many aspects of our writings that can and should be shared.

Today I am thinking about how neither of us wanted to die last. For our life together I was adamant that I die first because I knew I did not want to live without him. He always felt that he would die first and had complete confidence that I would be fine. I would hardly say that I am fine, but I appreciate his confidence. He would say that if anyone could do this I could. I would say that if anyone could NOT do this it was me – but here I am. It turns out I didn’t have a say in the matter after all.

It was not too long after Mark passed that I felt grateful to have been the one to stay behind. I love him and would never want him to have to pass through this grief process. It is truly awful. I am going to share several portions of “love notes” notes that are from Mark. Read them first to know that we loved to be together and that he would not have done well on his own… but more importantly to think of what feelings you might share with your spouse to let them know how much you enjoy being with them…

Mark always wrote in all caps. I should have thought of this sooner and all of his quotes would be in all caps. Hopefully I will remember to do this in the future because I do have a lot to share:

I REMEMBER TELLING MY DAD BEFORE WE WERE MARRIED THAT I JUST WANT TO BE WITH YOU. I WAS (AND AM) HAPPY WHEN WE ARE TOGETHER. THAT’S SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU SPECIAL TO ME, YOU ARE THE PERSON I WANT TO BE WITH.

I LOOK FORWARD TO MANY MORE YEARS OF DAYS WITH YOU. (After a fun day together.)

I LOOK FORWARD TO THE MOMENTS WE HAVE TOGETHER.

I HAVE ONE DESIRE IN LIFE, TO BE WITH YOU. I CAN SEE RETIREMENT AS BEING WITH YOU, WORKING TOGETHER, TRAVELING, WHATEVER… JUST AS LONG AS WE CAN DO IT TOGETHER. (Well that didn’t quite work out, did it?)

I LOVE TO BE HOME WITH YOU… THAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE.

LIFE WITH YOU IS GREAT. I WILL BE HAPPY TO TRAVEL AT YOUR PACE. (After grudgingly joining us on a fun day trip I spontaneously “planned” to explore Palouse Falls. He hadn’t wanted to go but ended up having a great time.)

I COME TO THE SAME CONCLUSION EVERY TIME WE ARE APART. THAT IS THAT YOU ARE THE ONLY POSITIVE FORCE IN MY LIFE. (THE KIDS TOO) WHEN YOU ARE AWAY I HAVE NO MOTIVATION. I DON’T WANT TO EAT. I DON’T WANT TO SOCIALIZE. I JUST GRIND TO A HALT. IT HAPPENS WHEN I AM ON THE ROAD OR YOU ARE ON THE ROAD. I JUST WANT TO BE WITH YOU… ALWAYS.

YOU WILL BE HOME SOON. LET ME SAY THAT YOU ARE WONDERFUL! I LOVE YOU!

IT IS GREAT TO HAVE YOU BACK HOME! TWO MONTHS IS TOO LONG TO BE ON THE ROAD. YOU ARE THE HEART OF OUR HOME AND THE HOME STARTS TO DIE WHEN YOU ARE GONE. (Try 7 months and 10 days!)

I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO BEING WITH YOU EACH DAY THROUGH THE NEXT STAGE OF OUR LIFE TOGETHER ON EARTH.

EACH DAY IS A JOY TO BE WITH YOU. I’M SO GLAD TO BE RETIRED AND OFF THE ROAD. I LOVE TO BE IN YOUR PRESENCE EACH DAY.

WE WILL BE APART TAKING CARE OF OTHERS FOR SEVERAL DAYS. I LOOK FORWARD TO BEING HOME WITH YOU.

Yes!! I so look forward to being with Mark again. Reading this journal over and over since he has been gone has filled me with so many emotions. Sometimes I am upset that he is gone and has left me when he talks so much about wanting to be with me every day. Mostly it makes me very happy and I just cannot express what it means to me to have his words written down.

Write down your love notes. What could possibly be stopping you? There must be one nice thing that you could share!

I have to say it feels rather strange to be sharing our journal with the world but I am going to do it and get used to it because I hope it helps even one couple to do a little and be a little better and love a little more. Remember that half of us will be widowed at some point and this is an opportunity to leave behind a treasure!!

We traveled on, TRUSTING in God.

Happy Valentines Day – make it a good one!