They blamed his brain tumors but I figure that it was the inflammation. When Mark’s tumors were acting up last April we had trouble with coordination and sight. Those problems never returned. During the last two weeks of his life it was as though different parts of his brains would flare up and then cool down as another section took its place.

I was never sure what to expect.

When we first arrived at the hospital I tried to occupy his mind with conversation about our favorite vacations. At that point I was doing most of the talking and I don’t think that he had a response. I talked to him about our trip to Poland and Czechia. How I loved that time together!

It was about a week later that he called me to his bedside with some news. I thought that he was coherent but he was not. Rather he was wanting to let me know that he had figured out why he was there in the hospital.

Oh dear…

“Why?” I ventured…

“It is a conspiracy. They have found me.”

This was a little bit like trying to have a conversation with someone who is talking in their sleep. I didn’t know if I should probe further or just let it be.

I probed. “A conspiracy? Who has found you?”

“The Polish government. They have found me.”

“Oh!” This was a surprise. “The Polish government has found you? Were they looking for you?”

“Yes!” He was adamant. “We should have never gone there.”

He was so earnest and all that I wanted was to put him on my lap and cuddle him like a child. Bless him! Instead I continued to talk with him until I could change the subject. Actually a health worker probably came in. They learned to look at me for an eye-message or slight nod of the head to understand the reality vs non-reality of Mark’s conversations.

Fast forward to December 2024. This time it was me in the hospital bed waking up from a light anesthetic. The nurse at my bedside was so kind. I was feeling relaxed and talkative. Because I had never seen a name like hers I inquired as to the origin. It turns out that she is Polish and has a great accent! She was about my age and had grown up during the Cold War. I told her about our wonderful vacation to her homeland. We loved Krakow, we loved the pottery, we loved the countryside. We spoke soberly of Auschwitz and laughed at the experience of having our car booted.

I then told her about Mark and his inflamed brain’s concern about being found by the Polish government. My nurse did not laugh.

“Oh yes, the KGB,” she said. She was so serious now. I thought of growing up in America during the Cold War – we were obviously not as affected as she had been, but it was scary and I have read books… The KGB is scary. I was grateful to have been somewhat educated on Lech Walesa so that we could discuss him for a bit before she changed the subject.

“Standing in line! We had to stand in line for everything!” Now she was earnest.

She turned and looked at me, “People ask me if I am going to shop on Black Friday. Never! I will never shop of Black Friday. Never! …I will NEVER stand in a line for anything that is not essential! I will never stand in a line for something that I do not need!”

That was it… she fed me a cracker and some juice, gave me back my clothes and sent me on my way… But her words have stayed with me. It is pretty easy for me to not stand in line for anything, especially if I don’t really need it. What about my time? Am I spending my time on things that are not essential?

What else? I don’t know… I just wanted to record this story. Any person that reads it may want to draw their own conclusions. I suspect that there are many…