A gentlemen’s gentleman? Indeed. More importantly he was MY gentleman. He was my everything. Today (December 3) is his birthday. I have debated for several weeks – should I make his favorite carrot cake? I only made it once a year (except that one time when I shared cupcakes with friends- only with his permission). Mark would begin to talk about his cake weeks ahead of time. It’s good but not that good – but it was to him. He has stories of trying to get it through airport security. He couldn’t leave extra cake at home and risk not getting as much of it as possible. Sometimes we would have guests for his birthday and he would slice extremely thin pieces, not liking to share.

Just as there was no banana cream pie at Thanksgiving, there will be no carrot cake today.

Nevertheless I hope to celebrate my sweetheart on his special day. Happy tears. Maybe there will be cake next year.

This year I want to share a few tributes from others. First of all the words of his youngest brother Mike. I enjoyed listening to Mike at Mark’s graveside service. I know many of you were at the funeral but missed this. Even if you were there at the cemetery you may have missed the words as we all dealt with the heat! I didn’t miss any of it – and I loved it. I count Michael as my brother also and I loved him even more when he sent me the text of his tribute.

Memories of my Brother Mark – Shared at the graveside by Mike.
I have lots of memories of Mark, but not enough time to share them all. Seems there’s never enough time.
Being the youngest, I’ve got a lot of dirt on these Andrus boys. Odds are, I’ll get the last word with every one of them. Had I thought about that when I was young, I might have had a little more leverage, but I didn’t.
Mark and I had our share of arguments and fights – usually over ping pong or pool. Mostly because I had a hot temper and didn’t like to lose, but also because Mark wasn’t going to put up with that. As we got older, and matured a bit, that changed.
My freshman year of high school, Mark got me a job where he worked at Cowboy Cookies. After school I would work with him for a few hours, then we would close up the store and walk through the plaza to where he always parked his car. I don’t remember significant life-changing conversations with him but over the weeks and months we became co-workers rather than sibling-rivals and that gave me a lot of confidence. Once in awhile he would take me surfing and among other things taught me how to do a proper towel change. For those of you who did not grow up surfing, that’s how you get out of your pants and into your wetsuit standing next to your car without accidentally showing the goods.
After his mission, we spent a lot of time surfing together, which meant a lot of time driving to and from the beach. We talked about his mission. We talked about girls. We talked about what he was looking for in a girl.
We talked about girls he was dating before he met Corinne, and we talked about Corinne when they met and began dating. For the record Corinne, right from the start he knew you were special.
Somewhere in there we went on a surf trip down to Baja Mexico. We slept on the beach for 2 or 3 nights just living out our dreams of surfing all day. As I recall, we cut the trip short because he was anxious to get back to see Corinne. At the US border they asked us what we had been doing in Mexico. “Just surfing”, wasn’t very convincing so they had us take everything out of the car including the back seats, so they could search everywhere. There was nothing to find. 6 or 7 hours later as he got tired of driving, he let me drive even though I didn’t have a license (yes Mom, I was 16 and you didn’t let me get my license because I wasn’t an Eagle scout).
Spending that time with Mark had a real impact on me and who I became. Having someone in your life with a few more years of experience, can make a real difference. I’m not sure I really appreciated that time with Mark until this past week when I took the time to reflect on our lives together. I am so grateful to him for giving me that time.
Some of the best advice I’ve received in life came from Mark. He said, “People like to talk about themselves. To be a good conversationalist, just ask people questions about themselves and then listen.” He made a career out of asking people what they do, then listening. He was really good at that.
I read a post the other day. It said something like, “Some people have favorite places. I have favorite people. And when I am with my favorite people, those become my favorite places.” How does a surfer kid from California come to love Oregon, Washington, Texas and Genola? He asked you questions, and you shared your lives with him. He listened. And you became his favorite people.
Thank you, Mark! There’s never enough time.

Next I want to include his obituary which will have a link to his funeral. I guess his obituary is too far past and the link won’t work, but the link in this blog post does work. Here you will also find a link to his slide show which is appropriate for his birthday. If you feel like watching the funeral you can fast forward to hear our son Nathan speak as well as Mark’s other two brothers, John and Danny. I am really just including all of this so that I can find it easily.

Funeral Reflections – General

Last of all – I wanted to share some of the tributes that I collected from his colleagues on LinkedIn. You’ll see that this is where I found my title for this post. There were more words of condolence/memories that I did not include or edited out, but I thought the family would enjoy reading these. I know that I did. I begin to wonder what my peers would say about me when I go. These words (along with what was written by y’all at the funeral and sent to me in other formats) make me want to try a little harder and live a little better. I hope everyone else will feel inspired as well. Enjoy:

I am heartbroken to read this. Aside from the talented, professional version of Mark we all knew, Mark was just a solid, kind human being. The world was better with him in it.

He was always a great colleague and leaves a beautiful legacy in the family he treasured.

I am sorry to hear about this, I enjoyed working with Mark and hearing his stories about Corinne and the family. You were all prevalent in the stories and laughs he shared with those of us who were lucky to share an office with him. 

I worked with Mark from 2006-2011 at GT, and he was a gentlemen’s gentleman.

 I really enjoyed working with Mark over the years.  He was a great professional and a better person.

He was a wonderful family man and a great colleague.

Mark taught me so many things during our time as colleagues at GT. I so enjoyed our always lively debates over how to achieve mostly common goals. Mark always provided wise counsel grounded in humor and humility. His priorities were always unapologetically clear (family first) and he set a fine example in that way and many others. I will miss his leadership in our industry and his friendship. May light perpetual shine upon him.

 I worked with Mark many years ago at Coopers & Lybrand. I was the new kid and he was so kind in helping me learn the ropes.

I’m so shocked and saddened by this news. Mark was a true inspiration to all of us during the YC batch, and he was such a nice and smart person. 

I worked with Mark at GT. He was always so positive and would come up with a solution to different problems. We would talk about our families, and I remember how he always smiled when he spoke of his.

 I worked with Mark years ago and still actively use many learnings he shared with me. He was a great mentor, coach and leader and am grateful to have known and worked so closely with him.

He lived a beautiful life and I’m grateful to have met him and worked with him. May he rest in peace.

He was a great professional and great client serving partner. I also loved hearing the stories he shared about his wife Corinne and their family travels. My condolences to the entire family.

He always took the time to hear my thoughts and help me learn and grow.

 I worked with Mark at Grant Thornton for many years and he was always wonderful, kind and incredibly easy to be around! 

Mark was one of the good guys, so sorry to hear this.

I am so sorry to hear about this. Mark was a great man and I considered him a friend.

I miss Mark. He taught me so much and was a dear friend. I share things he taught me with others. Such great memories.

Mark was a great person and one of the best partners I worked with at GT. 

Mark was a great boss at Grant Thornton when I first started my professional career. He was smart and gracious.

Mark was a great resource to the GT tax practice and I truly enjoyed having him on my team.

Truly a tragic loss! A great colleague! Rest in peace my friend!

Yes – Rest In Peace my dearest friend. My sweetheart. My gentleman. My everything. I love you more than ever!