This is fun – Today I am sharing Mark’s narrative about the first time that we held hands. I thought about sharing his entire narrative which is about our first date, but I will begin with this excerpt. Comment if you want the whole story! I found this in his “story journal” about which I will certainly write more. (My commentary will be in bold.)

First Date with Corinne by Mark Andrus – Holding Hands

…The night got cooler and Corinne and I covered up under a blanket (We were at the stock car races.) I took the opportunity to reach over and hold her hand. When she held mine back (for those who have held hands for the first time in a relationship know what that means) something special passed between us.

Holding hands with someone, especially the right someone, for the first time can be magical. From the boy’s side… first you think about it. Should you reach over and touch her hand? It is such a bold move. It means so much. It is a bold statement that says, “I like you,” “I want to be with you.” Up to that point in a relationship there is a lot of guessing and hoping. But when you commit to hold her hand it puts those maybes into action. It is a decisive moment when you will either be victorious or you will crash and burn.

You move your hand close to hers. You watch to see her reaction. You move again. You watch. You get to the point when the next move will initiate contact. This is another decision point… do you just touch fingers, play it safe and watch her reaction? If you take this path you risk appearing weak, timid and unsure. or do you take her hand in one swift, bold move? If you take this path you risk a shocking reaction, maybe a slap or a question, “What are you doing?” You will definitely draw attention to the action and cannot pretend it did not happen.

I chose to be bold. The reaction was an accepting soft squeeze back. This was an affirmation of all the teenager talk that Mark and Corinne should date (Our teenage siblings and their friends.) In that moment I knew that this remarkable, beautiful, intelligent girl like me back just a little. She opened the door of possibility just a crack.

After the date we drove home. Corinne and I in the back seat holding hands and talking. The drive home was much faster than the drive to the race.

The End – I chose to share this because I thought it was sweet; also because Mark and I held hands. I always loved that he held my hand. One of the hardest moments of the past year was when we were living at Hope Lodge last September. We had just been told (for the first time) that Mark could be gone within two months. We didn’t tell anyone else about this – it was in October that we were told he wouldn’t make it to Christmas and this I had to tell the family. Yet on this September evening we were alone with our new reality and it was a somber time. I needed to go and get something from the kitchen. Usually at this time of night Hope Lodge is quiet and the halls are deserted. However, when I walked out our door and turned toward the kitchen there was an elderly couple walking down the hall. They were holding hands.

You may recall that before Mark died I almost never cried. This was the beginning of tears for me – that couple was supposed to be US!! We were supposed to get old together and hold hands as we walked down the hall. If memory serves I ducked back into the room to cry with Mark before I could venture out again.

Today I am just thankful for all of the hand-holding we enjoyed while together. I am doing very well for now and love our memories. Take care of your spouse and hold hands while you still can!