When was the last time that you went (or took a child) on a Lion’s Hunt? Perhaps you call it a Bear Hunt? You know the game that keeps children entertained as long as you can keep thinking of obstacles to encounter? For example – as you are sitting criss-cross-applesauce and everyone is tapping their hands on their legs, pretending to be walking… when you come across a muddy swamp….

Oh No! You can’t go over it, you can’t go under it, you can’t go around it…. you have to go through it.

Well, widowhood is an example of a muddy swamp (or some other obstacle) that you just have to get through. Ugh.

I did, however, just spend three days at a “Widow’s Conference” in Idaho and it was great! It was actually widow/widower but mostly women, so I am sticking with widow. Women need women and widows need other widows. It was wonderfully refreshing to be with hundreds of men and women who “get it.” The entire committee and almost every presenter was also widowed.

Being widowed just 2.5 months, I was a newbie, though one of my new friends lost her husband 20 days after I did. I think we may have been the newest members of the club. Most of my new friends are younger than me and every story was tragic. Though our stories were different our experiences are very similar. There were also many couples there. I had not really thought of this before, but even if you remarry you have still been widowed. Apparently it is a pain that never really goes away. Great.

One of the presenters pointed out that we all have memberships somewhere – a country club, a professional organization and even Costco. In order to join this particular club… someone must die. Rather a shocking thing to hear though obviously true.

People have been curious – what do you do at a widow’s conference? I guess it is much like any other conference. Thursday was our opening social. We enjoyed a country music band and some people danced (not me! not yet!). I was sitting with a couple ladies who were much older than me when one of the registrars came to my table and said that she had some people that she wanted me to meet. She must have been inspired. She thought I looked younger than I am and this is how I met my sweet friends.

Friday had a variety of activities. I had signed up for a hike but decided to spend the afternoon with Lori instead. That night we met again for pizza and then returned to the conference for a presentation by Kenneth Cope. Here are a couple songs that resonated with me throughout the weekend – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urQ3cMtbK34.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9GZJhZBjBI

Saturday was full of speakers and workshops. There was quite a range of topics: cooking, meditation, dating, angels, the Abrahamic covenant, coping with grief, etc. etc. It was hard to choose! Each subject had a bit of a twist to fit this unique audience which was just so refreshing! Everything centered on Jesus Christ and his Grace, Love, Compassion… That night there was a dance/game night which I thought I would attend but I was just thoroughly depleted! Though I enjoyed myself I am not ready for that much socializing yet.

Everyone was very friendly. As conference-goers heard (or overheard) that I was barely over two months into this adventure they were so quick to give hugs and befriend me. No one was afraid of asking questions like how long you have been widowed or other questions about death and how you are coping. Everyone agreed that going to church was one of the most difficult things to do each week but we all do it. We all get triggered by simple, unpredictable moments. There was no confusion when someone spoke about occasionally feeling anger toward our spouse for leaving. All are lonely. We had a good laugh when we realized we were passing our phones around the table admiring one another’s headstones. Can you believe we all have a headstone with our name on it? (Mine hasn’t been ordered yet but I am in the design process.)

I had been so nervous about showing up to something like this by myself – it is way outside of my comfort zone but it was worth it. Obviously the widow’s mite isn’t spelled m-i-g-h-t, but might comes to widows from friends of all kinds. More importantly, I read somewhere that God has a special place in his heart for the widow. And that special place, when accessed, will always give the widow (and everyone else) MIGHT to get through it. Whatever it may be.