The Navajo people have a traditional teaching in which they are instructed to walk on the beauty-way path. They express what may be called the beauty-way prayer which is to have joy, happiness, confidence and peace all around them and within them. They pray to have joy, happiness, confidence and peace before them and behind them, above them and below them.

As a sidenote – I love that happiness and joy are listed separately. I do not believe that they are the same emotion. Is sadness the opposite of happiness? I know that I have been very sad and yet I can still feel and experience joy.

Ok, back to the Navajo and their beauty-way path. It is not a smooth path, rather it is littered with opportunities to grow. The Holy People send [no translation] “things to be done”. When I heard this translation I thought maybe it was the word “commandments.” Our Navajo friend Wally used the word, “opportunities.” These opportunities will always lead one to grow mentally, emotionally, physically (as in a more disciplined body) and the ability to grow spiritually. Those who take advantage of these opportunities will develop a closer relationship with the Holy People.

I was going to title this post “The Beauty-way Path” but as I am typing I know that I want to change the title to “Opportunities.” I feel that as a society we promote whining and complaining about just about every situation that doesn’t involve laughter and giggles. What if we began to think of situations as opportunities? Particularly the situations that we would refer to as trials.

If you were to pause your reading right here and in your mind think of 3-5 things going on in your life, at any level of difficulty, and now refer to them as an opportunity to grow in some way – how does that change the situation? I guess it just goes back to our perspective – I think thinking of it as a way to grow changes every thing for me.

So – as for our not-so-smooth path and this very large opportunity to grow… here are a few updates. First, I apologize for taking so long. It would seem that a hospital room I would have time… but I end up eating breakfast at lunchtime and never really get to anything. A hospital room is a very busy place. I guess along with that is that Mark has been heavily drugged to conquer air hunger. This means that I am his advocate as he does not communicate clearly. Once again I will say that the most clear communication he has had with the staff was that he wanted to continue the chemotherapy plan. I sense that many of our healthcare professionals may not agree with our decision, but he spoke clearly and I am in full support.

Actually this is our most important news. Otherwise we are in a holding pattern of sorts. Chemotherapy has not caused any issues – not even nausea or exhaustion. The morphine is the worst culprit.

I so appreciate the day of fast. I have felt a deepening level of calm. This is what brought my mind back to the beauty-way path. Joy, happiness, confidence and peace. I feel that my confidence has been reinforced and our peace intensified. (Intense peace – almost sounds like an oxymoron.)

Someone just asked me if this was the “end” or if we still have hope. Let me explain something I have been feeling. A few months ago, as a response to prayer, I felt that it was very important to be hopeful and optimistic. I have used these terms in this blog before. Hopeful and optimistic. A couple weeks ago I realized that, because I feel that this was a divine admonition, I would choose to keep that hope and optimism alive, even when it is combined with the possibility of death – as though I will be accountable for how I responded. This is one of my opportunities.

Next day – well, yesterday was super difficult for many reasons. There have been a lot of tears and I am glad of it. I think that my thoughts and actions are appropriate for these circumstances. I couldn’t go on for long like this – but tears today felt good as well. They are right at the surface to emerge at any time and I don’t care who is here to see. Mark is all that matters.

I do love to experience joy, happiness, confidence and peace above me, below me, behind me and ahead of me – today it all feels a bit dull.

Can joy and sadness co-exist? Yes. This is my life today. How much more growth can I handle right now?