Where to begin? I sent the last post so quickly – I was trying to run out the door but I knew that we needed to make a decision right away about radiation… as I was driving the radiation department called. The doctor was awaiting my arrival so they could discuss options and side effects… well, the only option was to radiate or not radiate. We decided to radiate. And there is no messing around this time – It is 2:50 pm and they just took him for his first treatment!

No wonder our heads are spinning… and now so are yours. So I will back up a few days.

I left town last Tuesday for a few days in New Mexico with the grandbabies. Kimberly is on spring break and was able to accompany me. The day before I left I came home and saw that Mark’s oxygen tubing was laying in the hallway. He had gone downstairs with his computer to work. I grabbed the pulse oximeter and his readings were all in the mid-90’s! This is amazing – it meant that either his lungs have greater capacity or his bone marrow is beginning to do its job again. I was finally able to leave him without great concern – and both Greg and Jackie had availability coordinated so that he would not be alone at any point.

I had just one concern – on the Sunday prior to leaving Mark had struggled to read aloud. He read very slowly and missed some words. We were concerned for his eyesight and not sure if chemo would have this sort of side effect. We figured we should wait a bit before seeing an eye doctor in case it improved. He promised me that he would not drive (haha) and would contact his medical team. They told him to monitor it because it could be a result of chemo in which case it should improve.

Now twelve hours from home and having a great time with Nathan’s family, I talked daily with Mark and began to be more and more concerned as he explained his deteriorating eyesight. I asked him to touch base again with his providers because in my mind the things he was telling me were worse than just not being able to see. He didn’t want to have to go see anyone and we already had an appointment set for next Wednesday (tomorrow).

As we spoke on Sunday I grew more concerned and Jackie promised she would draft a message to the doctor. Mark let us do this as long as she promised not to send it until Monday morning. Past experience told him that he didn’t want to deal with the weekend team and be told to come to the ER – and now we know that this would have been the case…

Dutifully the message was sent and Greg took him to a clinic for the scheduled CT scan on the 15th. Before they had arrived the Huntsman team was scurrying to get him on the list for a brain MRI at the main hospital. While waiting for this they took him for an additional CT of the brain.

In the meantime I woke up that morning and scrapped our plan to do our usual two-day drive home. Our plan was to enjoy another morning with the girls as well as finding something to entertain us on Tuesday. Instead I woke up and got my bags packed – we said our goodbyes and were on our way.

We were just hitting Moab, UT when Mark called. I could tell from his tone of voice that he didn’t have good news. Multiple brain tumors was the diagnosis. They would keep him in the hospital for a few days while figuring out the plan.

We were all shocked. Why hadn’t these tumors been affected by the chemotherapy? Obviously I knew his symptoms could have been caused by a tumor but since we had seen good results in other parts of his body?? And multiple tumors?!!

We drove in stunned silence. After a bit Kimberly turned on some soft music – so let the crying begin! Driving and crying… and making our way through the stunning scenery of southern Utah! This scenery always has a powerful effect on me – yesterday I was reminded of the power of our Creator! Not only were the early evening shadows accenting the rocks – the skies were stormy and whirling. Nature was making quite a show for us. These words came to me, “Jesus Christ is our friend.” This isn’t usually a phrase that comes to my mind and I found it somewhat curious, though soothing.

As we dried our tears we knew we were not able to change anything so we resumed our audio book, The Scarlett Pimpernel. A family favorite and just the right story to distract us. Soon we found ourselves viewing another beautiful set of cliffs but with one of them lit up by the sun I just had to stop the book again and tell Kimberly about how those words had touched my heart. Jesus Christ is our friend. A few moments later I remembered that these were the words Mark had used in his talk on Easter. It has been such a short talk with a strong message and here it was coming to me again – I felt it was significant.

Let the crying resume as we came home to a dark, empty house. I had been so anxious to get home to Mark and he wasn’t here… and I am sure the symbolism is not lost on the reader. It was a rough, rather sleepless night. Neither was today lacking in tears.

It has been one month since we were last discharged from the hospital. Though Mark scarcely left his bed during those first two weeks at home we felt such a sense of freedom knowing that we were not coming back to the hospital. During that third week – when we would have been admitted, I just kept exclaiming how grateful I was to be home and not cooped up in a hospital room. Now here I was this morning packing up clothes, pillows, blankets and food. The heaviness of that along with the new diagnosis has been bit much in less than 24 hours.

Well – did I mention that yesterday was also my birthday? It may seem like a bummer, but my dear New Mexico family had given me such a sweet (and delicious) surprise party on Sunday that I felt very celebrated. Then what fun to drive all day and have it filled with cheerful birthday texts. It definitely took the edge off the pain to be reminded over and over that I have such fine people in my life!

The best part of it all was to get to the hospital and be with Mark. As I mentioned, they were awaiting my arrival in radiation but gave us a few minutes to discuss our options. We both felt that we should move ahead – they are hoping to stop the growth of the tumors. We have not yet talked with our oncologist. She has come to our room twice – once while we were with radiation doctors and a few minutes ago but Mark is still gone.

Later – she was here and I’ll have to process and write later. Thank you for sharing this journey with us!!