No sooner had I written and posted on Wednesday about having a focus on gratitude and a focus on joy that those pesky, irrational and negative thoughts began to surface. Seriously? Where were they coming from? They either stemmed from hurts long healed (maybe a scab came off) or were completely untrue notions with little bearing on reality. I hope you can relate.

The rational side of my brain rolled its eyes and said, “Really? You know that none of these things are true – quit giving them attention!” The irrational side just kept them coming. A little at first, but by Friday morning I sat fighting them for over an hour.

And my overall self was trying to take charge of the whole matter and remind myself that I had just written about the power that comes from focusing on gratitude. I knew it was a true principle, but I couldn’t quite pull it together. 

Finally, I found a quiet spot to pray. I prayed for help to overcome the negativity and perhaps just having something positive happen. I am completely confident that God hears these pleading prayers with the same love as He hears our prayers of gratitude. He is pleased that we turn to Him.

Moments passed and then it happened. I was flooded with warmth, love and gratitude. My peace, courage and strength returned. I had no doubt of their source and they completely stomped out that negativity. It was heavenly and it was sacred – and normally I would keep this to myself.

Then this happened. 

I was driving back to the hospital and reflecting on how great I felt. It is rare for a prayer of mine to be answered so quickly and dramatically – but no matter the circumstance I am aware of that feeling that comes when I know Heaven has intervened for me. It is both humbling and reassuring.

Then I began to feel that this was all about my gratitude/joy post. I had probably said something about focusing on gratitude as though I had done it myself. I want to clarify that my desire was to feel grateful in all things – something I was unable to do – so I prayed for several days for these feelings. It was a wrestle. When they materialized there was no doubt as to their Source.

I go through this gratitude wrestle each time we are in turmoil. I feel like it gets easier because there is already a foundation of gratitude on which to build. This foundation came from God as does each building block of thankfulness. I was being very honest when I said that I am almost overwhelmed with gratitude these past months. I feel it surround me. 

From the time I posted Focus until two days later when I offered that desperate prayer, there were several times that I was left on my own. I think that this was a reminder to me to make sure that I was aware of the source of my gratitude – confirmed through what I would call a miracle. Then I felt that someone reading this needed to hear of my experience. I am not sure that I have managed to express this it with clarity, but I hope it was helpful.

 We really can be grateful in all things, but only if we ask for help.