Several years ago my sister Lori taught me about the Superman Stance. Essentially this means that when life is getting tough, take a moment and stand like Superman. Apparently standing with hands on hips, feet apart, chest out, chin raised, etc. will subconsciously tell your body that you are able to not only handle your life – but conquer it like a superhero. With or without a cape flapping in the wind. Probably better without.

When times are tough for Lori or me, we often text each other a reminder of the Superman Stance. Over time we changed it to Wonder Woman because it seems more fitting and works just as well.

When we arrived home from the hospital last time there was an Amazon package on my front doorstep. My initial confusion on opening it turned to a wide smile as I recognized that it must have come from Lori. What were the contents? A bag of Wonder Woman accessories – head band, wrist bands and a belt with a golden rope. Don’t you just love sisters? She wasn’t telling me I had to be Wonder Woman, just to take a stance and do my best.

I felt so compelled to write my last blog post – assuring everyone that spirits are high and faith is strong. I love having an opportunity to share this – to allay worries and let others know that there are different ways to handle trials in our life.

I then went to bed and couldn’t sleep for hours – I knew that I also need to write about the other side of our reality. Everything that I wrote is true – but the other truth is what I call survival mode. Months ago as we learned our diagnosis, radiation schedule, initial prognosis, etc… I felt myself transform into this survival mode. For me it is almost like the tunnel vision you experience right before you faint. Darkness comes all around but leaves a focal point. My focal point is doing what it takes to survive and really nothing extra. This leaves all of my energy to face what needs faced with full purpose and I think that this is why we are able to stay positive, happy, faithful, etc.

I thought a good example occurred when our son underwent in-patient chemo treatments for seven months. During that time we kept only the essential activities for the family and I was perfectly content knowing I had milk, eggs and bread. Eventually our friends fed the family for the final four months. You can only go so far on eggs, milk and bread. (Literally – we would go to the refrigerator at the church each Sunday and find a week’s worth of meals, often anonymous!! You know, this kind of love changed me forever.) I am only now learning what the kids were able to scrape together for their school lunches that year. I developed a full-body rash and my fingernails were always cracked and breaking. The stress is very real, but we were happy and functional in the important ways. Just like now.

Here we are again and I am no Wonder Woman. I just need to stand like her once in awhile. We cover the essential chores to maintain our sanity but know that a lot of other things can just wait. We know we have a small army of friends waiting to help and occasionally call out to them. I figure I am functioning at about 30% capacity and that is alright. I know I can catch up later. We know that relationships are most important and for Mark and I, our most important relationships are with our Savior and with each other. I can let go of a lot of other things if these relationships are intact.

Now for some updates – and this first one seems made-up because it feel ridiculous, but I tested positive for Covid yesterday. Just because we were getting a little bored around here I guess… I have been progressively more sick each day this week and was fighting this “cold” with all of my remedies but to no avail. Then I heard that both of my parents are sick in bed with Covid. I quickly tested because I am worried for Mark but he continues to be negative. He is worn out and coughing but that really isn’t so new. So my 30% is currently around 10% but my head has cleared today so I hope I am on the mend. Haha – anyone who knows me would be shocked to see me typing this while laying in bed and eating Tillamook Mudslide ice cream (yum) in the middle of the day. There are perks…

I have had a lot of questions about Mark’s chemo schedule so I don’t think I explained it very well. They had told us he would need the intense chemo and it would have begun this week (inpatient, can you imagine it with me sick?). That plan was put on the back burner while they let his incision heal for a few more weeks when they will reevaluate the effectiveness of the immunotherapy.

Remember how everything about his surgery turned out to be so much better than anticipated? This continues to be the case. He moved from the walker to a cane and now is walking just fine. We have to keep reminding him that he is recovering from a major surgery. After working from a recliner for three months he is back in an office chair working at the table! He has put in several 8 hour days this week and feels good. It is good to see him back to what he does so well.

His 5-6 week drains actually came out yesterday, scarcely over two weeks past surgery. To save the many hours of a round trip to the hospital they let me take them out at home. The surgeon had told me that I could. He said to just cut the stitch and they would come right out. Well… no… I used my strength to pull at a consistent rate and was surprised that each of them had a good ten inches inside his leg. I hadn’t imagined that. It didn’t hurt at the time, but today is one of the first times in well over a week that he has felt any sort of leg pain.

Covid has me banished to my bedroom while Mark takes advantage of the weekend to catch up on the World Series and relax in another room. We decided it was fine to watch a movie together if we are on opposite ends of the family room so there is that to look forward to tonight. I tell you what… sometimes it is too much work to even attempt the Wonder Woman Stance -perhaps I will try it again next week. For now I will enjoy my Tillamook Mudslide and keep those relationships strong from opposite ends of the family room.